Monday, December 6, 2010

I have something to tell y'all...

I honestly don't know how to start this post or how to even begin...my heart is beating out of my chest as I'm just trying to even begin to come up with the words to say so I guess I'm just going to have to come out and say it.  I'm pregnant.  To say that I'm shocked, surprised, amazed, overjoyed...doesn't really begin to even describe how I'm feeling right now.  Shaun and I are so incredibly grateful to God for this precious miracle. 

Now for the story...

If you've been reading my blog recently, then you know that I went back to my RE last month and got extremely discouraging news based on my bloodwork and history about trying for another baby.  Our doctor didn't say that it couldn't happen any other way, but he stated that we would most likely need at least an injectable cycle to get pregnant.  Shaun and I started to argue for a few days as we tried to figure out how we could financially go for an injectable cycle, and we finally came to the conclusion that it would be a long time before we would have the money (as in at least a year).  Little did I know that I was already pregnant.  I started to become okay with waiting because I knew we are incredibly blessed to have Henry and if God has taught us anything through this..it is that babies are worth the wait.  At 11 dpo, I took my temp in the morning, and it didn't drop (temp always drops the day you are going to start and I only had a 11 day luteal phase).  I thought to myself that wow that was great that my body was starting to do better (a longer luteal phase) on the Making Babies program (see below for more info).  The next day...temp was up again, and the thought still didn't enter my mind that I could really be pregnant...I was just encouraged by the progress my body was making.  But that night, I happened to be in dollar tree passing by the pregnancy tests, and I decided to throw one in my basket.  I wasn't really thinking about testing that night but as soon as I got home I headed for the toilet because I just needed to know.  I wasn't nervous taking the test because I just knew I wasn't pregnant.  I didn't see a line so I asked Shaun to come look at the test.  He put it on the counter where there was better lighting, and he said he thought he saw another line.  Sure enough there was a very, very faint line, but dollar tree tests have been mean to me in the past so I figured it was wrong but of course was starting to go crazy at this point.  I finally remembered that I had a clearblue digital in my cabinet so I waited a few hours and decided to take a test so that I could get these crazy thoughts out of my head.  And a minute or so later...it popped up "pregnant."  My heart immediately started singing praises to God as I started to shake.  I walked into the living room to show Shaun, and he could not believe it.  He kept asking that if "you pee on this test and it says you are pregnant then that means you are pregnant??" as if my infertile pee wouldn't give accurate results :).  We laughed and prayed and sat in shock and laughed again.  The next morning was Sunday morning, and the song on the post below was the special music that day.  There is even more to this story that is such a God thing, but it isn't my story to tell so I will have to finish that part in a few weeks. 

We shared the news with our parents and close family over Thanksgiving with Henry wearing a "big brother" shirt, and they couldn't have been more excited.  My parents had been praying daily in the morning that we would be able to conceive naturally and so this was a huge answer to prayer for them.

I had a huge scare last Monday, and I thought I had lost the baby.  I was cramping really bad for hours, and I even had a negative pregnancy test in the afternoon (I think I might have gone the bathroom too soon before I tested so there wasn't enough time for the hormone to show up).  I really thought I miscarried and spent the evening in a dark room in bed crying my eyes out (the cramping stopped later that night).  My OB office got me in the next morning and to our surprise and delight...we saw a precious little baby and heard the most beautiful sound in the world...a little 5 weeks 6 days baby's heartbeat.  I have started to feel pretty nauseous recently, which I'm trying to take as a good sign.  I felt very strongly when I found out I was pregnant that I'm to enjoy every day that I'm given with this baby instead of worrying so that is what I'm trying to do.  I'm 7 weeks tomorrow and we will go in next week for another ultrasound to check on baby.

Some of my friends and family that have found out have asked me if I believe that making the changes that I made from Making Babies and the natural supplements/vitamins helped me get pregnant.  I hesitate to answer that question because I don't want to give credit where credit is not due.  God created this life, and He is the one that has made this conception take place.  But I also know that God works through surgery, medicine, doctors and natural methods.  It is hard to say whether or not it really made a difference or not.  I will say though that I felt very strongly that God led me to that book so I do believe that there was a reason that He brought me to it.  I don't know if it was for me or for a few of my readers or both.  There are several of you...Lisa, K, and Megan who have been working through the book and making changes so I look forward to hearing how everyone's cycle or overall health starts to improve.

I do realize that this news was probably difficult for many of you to hear even if you are happy for me.  Just know that I'm praying so hard for all of you.  And I'm still here.  This blog will remain an infertility blog (will blog about my pregnancy on my other blog) as long as God continues to call me here, and I still feel very much called to be involved in supporting all of you.

If you know me in real life and have somehow found my blog...could you keep this a secret but leave me a comment to let me know that you know?  I don't mind y'all reading at all :).