The Postpartum Appt of Two Infertiles

At my postpartum visit this week another new mom in the waiting room saw that I just had Henry and decided to strike up a conversation with me. We talked about feeding and sleeping schedules and all of the typical newborn mom small talk, but as we were talking I couldn't help but notice another woman sitting close by and her body language as she listened to our conversation. I cringed as the new mom talked about how "weird it was to be at the clinic without being pregnant" and many other comments that I knew would have hurt me if I had overheard them a year ago when I was at the gyn for my annual in the middle of fertility treatments. The woman nearby was flipping through a magazine and cringing every time I was cringing. I tried to tell myself that I was just imagining things, but when I saw her obviously make a face when the lab tech said, "see you next year." I knew she was struggling with infertility. I decided that if anyone said anything about Henry while I was waiting for bloodwork that I would say something so that she could be encouraged or she could talk to me if she wanted. The lab tech that I had for what felt like a million appointments during the pregnancy started ooing and aahing over Henry so I took the opportunity to say, "he really is a miracle." She started talking about how all babies are miracles once you learn what can go wrong and then I replied that every baby is for sure a miracle once you realize all that has to happen. Immediately my infertile friend spoke up (took the bait!)..."did you have to do fertility treatments to get pregnant?" I couldn't believe I was actually right about her! But it turns out I was only partially right. She did previously struggle with infertility, but she was there for a postpartum appointment. She had to do IVF to get pregnant with her first, but then had two surprise pregnancies so she has her hands full now with three under three! After she made sure to tell me to be careful (that advice went in one ear and out the other-no birth control for us!), we discussed infertility treatments like we were old friends. I know infertility is common and that I could have just made a lucky guess, but there was something about her body language. She heard things the way I heard them. She was sitting there with three babies at home, but infertility changed her just like it changed me. We can't sit there and hear "see you next year" and not think about the poor girl that is there for her yearly and praying that it is not another year before she makes it back to the clinic again. Our prayers were answered...we have our miracles, but going through infertility will forever change us.