"Normal" Bloodwork and more....update!

I feel so blessed to have so many sweet readers checking on me and praying for me. I feel bad that y’all are even thinking about me when so many of you have so much going on in your own lives. If it wasn’t obvious from the post below, the old feelings of infertility started to rush back in the two week wait last cycle. If you have been a long time reader, then you know that the two week wait and Courtney do not get along very well (at all!!). As I expected, last cycle was negative, and I was sad but okay. The hardest part by far though was seeing Shaun’s reaction. I don’t know that I will ever be able to get that look of disappointment on his face out of my head. He really thought I was pregnant because I was tired, emotional, earliest I’ve ever ovulated naturally etc, and when I told him I wasn’t…he looked so sad. When we were trying before Henry, he was of course upset, but I don’t think he knew what he was missing. Now after experiencing being a father and loving his little buddy to bits, I can see that our inability to conceive is really hitting him harder this time. I wasn’t expecting him to be like this, but it really does make sense now that I’ve taken some time to process it. Part of me is glad that we might be grieving together this time but another part of me is just sad for how I feel like I’m letting him down (even though I know that isn’t true). I decided to get some basic bloodwork on cycle day 3 to see how I’m doing especially because I’m having hot flashes at night during certain times of my cycle. Nurse called and said bloodwork was “normal.” And of course I asked for numbers because bloodwork and normal don’t belong in the same sentence for me. My fsh was close to 9 so it hasn’t gone up too much in two years (close to ten last time), which I was so glad to hear. Estradiol (estrogen) was 19…google says 25-75 is normal and that you don’t want your day 3 number too high or too low. I’m not surprised to see my estrogen level low because my lining is always thin when I have ultrasounds so it makes sense. I guess it might not be low enough to be causing the hot flashes (?) or to be considered abnormal (?), but it is low according to google. Shaun and I had a big talk on Sunday about where we are headed this next year with trying to get pregnant. We both agreed that injectables are not an option for us financially at this time and would be something we would have to save up for maybe late summer/fall of 2011. I’ve also taken clomid off the table because I don’t need to take a drug that makes my lining worse and fertile mucus thick, which are two of my problems (thank you Making BABIES book!!). I also took vaginal progesterone suppositories (for my luteal phase defect) off the table because those things made my life a living you- know- what for 1 ½ weeks out of the month…not doing those unless we are doing something with a high success rate like injectables. So what is left? Probably just naturally trying for a year with making the changes in lifestyle/diet/supplements from the Making Babies book. I did make an appt with my old RE for next Wednesday who has just started his own private practice to see what he thinks about the low estrogen, etc. I’m going to bring my “making babies” book to introduce him to my new favorite book, and I’m hoping we can talk about some natural estrogen/progesterone options. He might be all like…hey nice to see you but come back in a year when you are ready for the fertility drugs, but I’m hoping he will be open to helping us this year with some monitoring (ultrasound, bloodwork, etc) and maybe some natural hormone options. I’m really just interested to see what he says and to see if the switch to being on his own is making him only want ivf patients or if he will be more interested in finding the cause/treating the cause etc. I’m hoping to inspire him to be more like I want him to be…lol! Hey when you only have two REs in your town…you have to work with what you’ve got. ***Just in case you are reading this Dr. H…I really do like you…just think all of you REs these days are jumping too quickly to IVF.*** I’m hoping that by taking IVF off the table forever (not going to do IVF where I live and probably would never do it because we don’t have the $$$) that he might be willing to work with other options. We shall see on Wednesday.