Thursday, December 18, 2008

Our First Ultrasound

Yesterday was one of the best days of our lives.

Wednesday morning, I woke up around 3:30-4 AM, and I couldn't go back to sleep. I was a disaster. All of my fears and doubts got the best of me and all I could think about was what I was going to do if we got bad news. I prayed for God to take care of our baby and to give me peace, but then I would immediately go back to thinking the worst. Finally, I decided to make myself picture Shaun and I going to the hospital to deliver our baby in August. I was finally able to get a few more winks until Shaun woke me up around 6AM, and I practically jumped out of bed. This was pretty funny because I typically have to get dragged out of bed. I'm not a morning person. Shaun was so happy that he didn't have to tiptoe in the dark to get ready to run. I know a lot of people were praying for us because I felt at peace as I was getting ready to leave. On the ride to the hospital, we both stayed pretty quiet because there were really no words to say. I was doing okay until we pulled off our exit. I looked at Shaun and said, "Okay now I'm getting nervous." He admitted that he was also feeling a little nervous, but of course not as much as me. It was such a weird feeling walking through those double doors with my hand tucked around his arm…. Is this the last time we will ever walk through these doors together or is this only the beginning of more of the same? They immediately got us into an ultrasound room. Shaun and I found the perfect position where he could stand andhold my hand, and we could both see the flat panel monitor on the wall. Then it seemed like we had to wait for forever. Finally my sweet ultrasound tech came rushing through the door and said, "I'm sure you are ready for me to get in here." Then she asked us "Now are we sure we are going to be okay if we see more than one or more than two?" Shaun and I both emphatically replied "yes!" Then the moment came when she finally started the ultrasound. I could immediately see the sac, but I couldn't see a baby. It was a scary few moments. She kept looking around because I think she was expecting to see more than one. After realizing that there was only one baby, she zoomed in on the sac and that is when we both saw the baby. In that moment, an enormous amount of peace, relief, and joy came over me. Shaun and I were squeezing each other's hands so tight. There was our baby with a flickering heartbeat…it was twinkling away, and it was the most beautiful sight. And then she turned the Doppler on, and we heard our baby's heartbeat pounding so hard. It was the sweetest, most wonderful sound. I could listen to that sound all day long. When we left our clinic, we said our goodbyes and thanked all of the nurses and my doctor for being such sensitive caregivers. I hugged my good friend at the front desk who always had a smile for me. And then Shaun and I held each other close again as we walked through those same double doors. We will never forget the heartache and pain that we experienced in our journey to parenthood…it will forever change who we are…but as we left through those doors, we both realized that God has given us an incredible gift. Not only the gift of this baby He has created for us, but the gift of an overwhelming appreciation for the miracle of life and especially the miracle of our little one's life. I pray that was the last time we ever have to exit through those doors.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Courtney, Congratulations!! I am beyond thrilled for you and have been anxiously checking your blog to see how yesterday went. God is good and He is with you guys and has definitely blessed you with this child. My husband and I are also pregannt (following IVF) and due in June and every day I am reminded how faithful God is and my heart is filled with joy for you! I remember our 6 week ultrasound like it was yesterday; I could barely breath I was so nervous. I came home and practically passed out from the adrennaline of it all! Congratulations and enjoy this precious time. I'll be praying for you and your baby and I know God will take care of you both. What an exciting day!! I am SO happy for your wonderful news! Congratulations!!! :) -Katie

Mandy said...

I was anticipating the news of your ultrasound all day yesterday and was excited to see it just now. I am beyond thrilled for you guys. I know how you feel as I'm going through it now too. I still have to wait for my beta to reach 1000+ to get in and have the ultrasound, but I think that should be in the next couple of weeks. When are you due in August? As of now, I think I'm due the 22nd.

I am so glad to hear the good news and wish you guys the best.

By the way, were you expecting more than one baby too?

lilkatie52 said...

What a beautiful post. Made me cry! Congratulations to you and your hubby! I wish you a long, healthy pregnancy, with a chubby cheeked baby as the grand finale!

Yetty said...

Congratulations sweetheart Your post brought tears to my eyes Yes, we do serve a great God

Nikki said...

Congrats Courtney - I'm glad all went well! Good luck, and God Bless.

Anonymous said...

Wahoo!!! I've been waiting for your update! I bet that was a most wonderful sound. God is Good!

☆ Loren ☆ said...

You gave me chill bumps!! Congrats!! I'm so happy for ya'll!!

I Believe in Miracles said...

This sounds like me waking up this morning!! I'm so excited for you. I'm praying for you big time. This is so SO awesome.
~~HUGS~~

Misty Dawn said...

I'm so happy for you Courtney!! I was trying to hold back the tears as I read your post today. Its such an emotional moment that I've never had the pleasure of experiencing, but hope that one day I do.

(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))

Heather said...

What a lovely post, Courtney! I have such joy for you and Shaun! I have been watching your blog for news and understand all the feelings you have had. God will take care of you and your baby. With each passing week you will enjoy both worry and elation which will prepare you for the best yet to come...a little baby in your arms! ((HUGS))
Heather (Franchesska)

B MoM said...

Congratulations!!!!! =) You deserve it. I cannot wait till I get to that day that you just had. =)

Kristin said...

Courtney I am so happy for you and Shaun! I was praying for you yesterday morning on my way to work. God is truly amazing. The same day that you have your ultrasound I found out that the Great Physician has healed my body and the PCOS is gone! We are hoping to be able to have our little one soon! Can't wait for more updates and pictures of you and baby!!

Lisa said...

Not sure how I found your site, but I found it and enjoyed my visit. I am definitely going to continue to follow your story. I too have been through infertility and conceived a little boy through IVF. I definitely know how you felt when you went in, waited for the u/s, saw your baby for the first time and heard that wonderful sound...the heartbeat!! What an amazing sound to say the least. CONGRATUALTIONS to you and Shaun on the upcoming arrival of your little miracle. I wish you all the best and will continue to follow your story.

God Bless!
Lisa

Michelle said...

I am in tears of happiness right now! I haven't had a computer and it's been torturing me wondering how your ultrasound went! I am so happy for you and I will continue to pray for you and your precious miracle bean! Sending you so many wonderful vibes and I look forward to watching you through this wonderful journey!
Hugs,
Shelley

Virginia said...

I got my BFP on Thanksgiving day too - while in MS... How have I missed this blog?? Am adding you to my blog roll, pronto!