Tell us about your ttc journey so far
Conrad and I have been married since July 2003, and TTC since February 2008. For the first year or so, I just kept track of my cycle, took my BBT, used home ovulation predictors (which always showed a spike), and tried a few rounds of Clomid. During this time, we also discovered that we have some male-factor infertility issues (varicocele). Because he's self-employed (a farmer) and uninsured, and I only have limited insurance, we don't have any coverage for fertility treatments. With our tax return this past year, I had the HSG procedure done (OUCH!). The results showed that I only had one fallopian tube open, and the doctor said that "unblocking" the other one would cause more damage with the scar tissue than just using my "good" one. Let me say here that the closest "big city" (around 60,000) has limited treatment options. The doctor I'm seeing is an OB/GYN with basic infertility knowledge and the ability to do IUI. After harvest is over this fall, we are planning on pursuing the IUI option, complete with the ultrasound to make sure it's my "good" tube side that's ovulating and Clomid.
What is the hardest part of infertility for you?
The hardest part of infertility for me is the roller coaster of emotions. I knew I was an emotional person before, but this has been unreal. The first two years were full of LOTS of tears and raw emotion. I seriously felt like I wasn't even myself. Now, I feel somewhat numb on the outside, though I still have all the emotions on the inside. Another hard part has been the test of my faith. I know God, I believe God, I trust God. However, my faith has been wavering. Why me? How is it going to work out? When will I start a family? etc., etc.
Specific prayer requests?
**I need prayer that my faith would be strong. I know God has a plan, but I need to believe it in my heart and keep moving forward with my life until my dream of a baby comes true.
**Also, would you pray for my marriage? I'm sure that anyone battling infertility can attest to the fact that it's hard on a marriage. "Trying" to have a baby sure sounds fun until you have to plan every last detail month in and month out. Conrad has been so patient and loving with me, but I really want to be the best wife I can be for him, even in the midst of this struggle.
**Physical healing would be great, for Conrad and for me. I know God does miracles, and I would not be upset at all if He decided to use healing in my story to glorify Him. He knows what He's doing!
**Finances. Farming is quite up and down, and since we're self-employed, we take all the risk (and benefits) of our decisions. God has blessed us immensely and we need that to pursue our pregnancy dreams.
How can a "fertile" friend be a support to a friend dealing with infertility?
I want to know that you're with me throughout this journey, I need your strength. Don't sweep it under the rug because it brings up some raw emotions that need to be expressed. If I'm expressing them to you, it's because I trust you and because I need your support. If you get pregnant, tell me you are, and reassure me that you know it's hard for me to hear the news. If our friends are getting pregnant, let me know that you're still praying for my miracle to come; and a "that must be hard to hear that someone else is pregnant" would be welcome, too.
***Note from Courtney: Adriane thank you for being so open with all of us. I'm looking forward to praying for you this month and in the months to come. This verse keeps coming to me for y'all so I hope you can cling to it as you wait for the harvest.
"Let us not grow weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap the harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9
Post below with an update on what is going on with us too...
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3 comments:
I will be praying for Adriane!!
Praying for you as always Adriane!
Praying for you Adriane...
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