Dear Baby Faith

Dear Baby Faith,
The moment that I saw two lines on a pregnancy test my life changed forever because on that day I found out that I was your mom, and I couldn't believe that God would bless us with such a precious miracle. I loved every second of my time with you. My favorite day was when we actually saw you on an ultrasound and heard your sweet heartbeat. It was the most beautiful sound. Your daddy was also completely smitten with you. One night, when your dad came home from work, I heard a sound and asked him "what is that sound??" He pulled out his cellphone from his pocket and told me that he was listening to your heartbeat on the way home from work over the speakers in his truck. You have the best dad in this entire world. It was on this day a year ago that we found out that you were gone to Heaven. I have missed you so much, and I love you with all of my heart. I can't wait for the day that I will get to rock you in Heaven.
Love you,
Mom

IUI #2

IUI #2 went very well this morning! (I'm not saying "peace" in the pic by the way..I'm saying yay for IUI #2) After delivering our specimen, we had 45 minutes to get some breakfast so we went to a great breakfast place by the hospital for a quick bite. Here I am enjoying my last meal as a non-pregnant person (please take note of my positive/hopeful attitude)



When we got back to the office, we only had to wait about five more minutes and then they called us back. Shaun's sperm report was great! 150 million after wash! It was a little akward this time because the nurse practitioner was teaching the new young nurse how to do an IUI, but it was a lot less painful than last time so I was happy. After the nurses left, Shaun said a really sweet prayer, and we had a great time laughing and talking while I stayed somewhat still on the table. We actually had such a fun time that we lost track of time, and the nurse had to come in to tell us it was time to go. I told Shaun this morning on the way that I liked the little traditions that we are starting with the our IUI days like going to breakfast..etc. And he said..."traditions? I don't want to make this a tradition! I want to have a baby!." I couldn't agree more, but at the same time, we have to celebrate these little baby steps along the way!

We Get to TRY!

YAY!! U/S was great yesterday! We have a follicle! 21 mm on my right side on cycle day 11! So Dr. Shaun gave me my hcg shot last night. Let me just brag on my husband for a second, he is amazing at giving shots. I can't even feel them! We go in for our IUI on Friday morning so please pray!

Hopeful

Last night was my last double dosage of femara for this cycle. I did have more side effects than I typically experience on 2.5mg...mainly just some killer headaches (having one right now...ouch) and a couple hot flashes. But who cares?? if I actually have some follicles this time! I go back on Wednesday to get my mid-cycle ultrasound. I'm hoping of course for at least one big follicle and a nice thick lining. If it all looks good, then Dr. Shaun will give me the hcg trigger shot wed. night with his excellent shot giving skills, and we will be back in the office two days later for our IUI. I'm feeling hopeful today..not necessarily that this cycle is going to be "the one," but I'm just resting in knowing that I am going to be a mom someday. I was telling Shaun the other day that I don't want to be like the bride that plans and plans for her wedding day, but doesn't plan for her marriage. I don't want to spend hours and hours thinking about getting pregnant without letting this valley in my life make me a better mom. Lately I have really felt that God has been trying to encourage me through babies and toddlers. Last wednesday night, some of us from our sunday school class went out with the youth to play ultimate. The other two couples had toddlers, but one of the moms wanted to play, and I didn't so I helped keep the little ones. This little boy was super shy, but at the end of the night, he all of a sudden wanted me to pick him up. I patted his back, and he gave me the biggest hugs and cuddled with me. He was even calling me "mama" lol. Then we sat down on the grass and watched his parents, and the other little girl decided to plop down on my lap too. God sent those hugs from above...I really needed them that night. Then we were eating lunch after church today, and Shaun pointed out this adorable little girl..probably only a little over a year old. She was sooo cute! Next thing I know out of all the people in the restaurant, she ran over to me and just looked up at me and smiled for the longest time. Oh!! and some great news that I forgot to report is that we got back our statement from our insurance company, and they paid 100% of my surgery..almost 10,000. We thought we were going to have to pay at least 2,000.

9 Years Together

Today Shaun and I celebrated 9 years together. We started dating on 9-9-99 so it was obviously very easy for us to remember that date! Shaun surprised me by making dinner reservations at a really nice restaurant in town. I just thought we were going to celebrate over our usual cereal dinner, but he made plans...so romantic and sweet!! I was thinking back today about what a major crush I had on him 9 years ago...(he was the oh-so-hot new football player at our high school). Back then I just couldn't get over it that he wanted to be MY boyfriend, and now 9 years later...I'm still amazed at how truly blessed I am to call him MY husband, and I definitely still have a major crush on him.

Done with Progesterone!

Well at least for now. I am so relieved! I hate to blame my emotions and out-of-control frustration/anger/hormonal rages on meds, but let's face it...I'm just not myself on the progesterone supps. I'm going out-of-town with my hubby this weekend for one night, and I think it will be really good for us to get away! I just really need to be myself again...I know y'all understand.

Negative.

Well obviously my morning didn't get off to a great start. The test was negative. Today was a sad day, but I'm trying to remember that this was just my first ovulation after surgery. I'm starting over...right?? We have a new plan of action for this next cycle which includes doubling my meds, multiple ultrasounds, hcg trigger shot, and an IUI followed by 3 x daily prog supps. Really the only "new" part of the plan is the doubling of the meds, but I'm happy to be getting back to baby attempting at the dr's office. It is hard to continue to take the prog supps, but since today is 11 or 12 dpo, I need to at least wait until I test again on 14 dpo before I stop them.

And the countdown begins....

10 dpo today. I'm trying to hold off until Thursday (13 dpo) to test. I would list all of the pregnancy symptoms that I'm having right now, but I will spare all of you since it also happens to be the same symptoms that are listed on the Endometrin prog supps patient pamplet. And since I'm currently taking prog supps 3 times a day right now...I really think there is no way to tell!