Hopeful

Last night was my last double dosage of femara for this cycle. I did have more side effects than I typically experience on 2.5mg...mainly just some killer headaches (having one right now...ouch) and a couple hot flashes. But who cares?? if I actually have some follicles this time! I go back on Wednesday to get my mid-cycle ultrasound. I'm hoping of course for at least one big follicle and a nice thick lining. If it all looks good, then Dr. Shaun will give me the hcg trigger shot wed. night with his excellent shot giving skills, and we will be back in the office two days later for our IUI. I'm feeling hopeful today..not necessarily that this cycle is going to be "the one," but I'm just resting in knowing that I am going to be a mom someday. I was telling Shaun the other day that I don't want to be like the bride that plans and plans for her wedding day, but doesn't plan for her marriage. I don't want to spend hours and hours thinking about getting pregnant without letting this valley in my life make me a better mom. Lately I have really felt that God has been trying to encourage me through babies and toddlers. Last wednesday night, some of us from our sunday school class went out with the youth to play ultimate. The other two couples had toddlers, but one of the moms wanted to play, and I didn't so I helped keep the little ones. This little boy was super shy, but at the end of the night, he all of a sudden wanted me to pick him up. I patted his back, and he gave me the biggest hugs and cuddled with me. He was even calling me "mama" lol. Then we sat down on the grass and watched his parents, and the other little girl decided to plop down on my lap too. God sent those hugs from above...I really needed them that night. Then we were eating lunch after church today, and Shaun pointed out this adorable little girl..probably only a little over a year old. She was sooo cute! Next thing I know out of all the people in the restaurant, she ran over to me and just looked up at me and smiled for the longest time. Oh!! and some great news that I forgot to report is that we got back our statement from our insurance company, and they paid 100% of my surgery..almost 10,000. We thought we were going to have to pay at least 2,000.