One week left

I think I need to re-read my post from yesterday. I'm usually fine the first week of the two week wait, but once the second week starts...I'm a disaster. Of course, I get to blame part of this on progesterone. It is so hard to wait. I can't really even put into words how much I hope this is it for us. Church was hard this morning. There were two babies born around the same time our baby should have been born, and I can't help but see them and think about how that should be us. There is another girl who is pregnant for the second time, and I remember being sad when she announced her first pregnancy(happy for her just sad for me). All of the couples from our sunday school class gather around the nursery doors to visit after they pick up their babies, and I can't help but feel so alone. Okay enough feeling sorry for myself! I'm so glad this week is Thanksgiving. Hopefully it will make the week go by faster.

Happily Ever After

I think one of the hardest parts of this journey through infertility is the unknown. Will my body respond to the medicine? Is this cycle “the one?” How many more months and just how much more heartache are we going to have to endure? Growing up, I loved fairy tales especially Cinderella. Poor Cinderella was in a very bad place in her life. Many tears were shed as she struggled through her circumstances. As a little reader, I was always sad for sweet Cinderella, but I was comforted knowing that there would be a happy ending for her. I knew she would live happily ever after. Cinderella dreamed of a better life, but I’m willing to bet that her happy ending was way better than she ever dreamed. Recently, I’ve been thinking about our happy ending. I know we are going to be parents. God has an amazing plan for our lives, and I have faith that He will give us children. And when that day comes, when we finally hold our baby in our arms, I know we will look back in amazement at how He has provided. If I tried to write my fairy tale story now, it would not even begin to compare to the story my Heavenly Father has written for me.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

4th IUI pic now posted below...

IUI #4

Shaun was so cute last night. He told me that he was really "looking forward to tomorrow." It just made me so happy to hear that because I really love our IUI mornings too. This morning started off a little late because I kept hitting the snooze. It is already a big enough challenge for us to get ready, get the sample, and beat the morning traffic to get to our clinic at 8 am so when I saw we were running late I decided to not care. I have made a special effort to remain as relaxed as possible this cycle (you can thank my therapist for this new emphasis). So we got the sample..skipping some details..and we were on our way. Yall would crack up at me at how protective I am of our army of spermies in the cup. I keep the cup safely in the palm of my hand as I put my makeup on in the car with one hand (shaun is driving of course). And I proudly carry it into the clinic that way...no paper bag for me! After we dropped off the little guys, we headed over to mcdonalds to grab some breakfast (one of our favorite iui traditions). We got called back not long after we got back to the clinic. I had to laugh at my nurse because she asked me if it was okay if she did the IUI. I said "of course you've pretty much done all of them," and she said, "I know that's why I wanted to make sure it was okay with you and that you didn't want a change." She asked me how I was feeling, and I told her that I felt very fertile especially with all of this cm. Then I opened my big mouth and said "I mean Saturday was the best I have ever had." Well of course she got the wrong idea and thought I was talking about bding instead of cm...haha. It is very uncomfortable to laugh when a nurse is in your area trying to put a metal speculum in there. After the nurse left, Shaun praved over the IUI, and he prayed for a miracle. Then the nurse came in with Shaun's count, and this was his best yet at 187 million. And don't worry...we took a picture...I'm obviously not one for breaking traditions. I will try to post it tomorrow, but I'm still writing my blogs on my blackberry since my computer is broken.

Dr Appt Update

Well I'm so glad we switched to injectibles! I had an ultrasound and bloodwork yesterday and today (cd 9), and it looks like we will have two to three follicles this cycle. My lining was also way thicker than it has ever been at 11! We are triggering tomorrow night and our IUI will be Monday morning. More to come soon...I'm having to blog on my blackberry because my home computer is broken. I'm still reading everyone's blog through google reader, but I'm not able to comment. So even though you might not hear from me...I'm pulling for all of you!

My First Injection Video

Well my first injection went okay. I'm still not sure if I did it right, and I was scared to death. I had Shaun record me for two reasons: 1. I knew if all of you would be watching this video that I would have to finally get up the nerve to go on with the shot and 2. B-roll -just in case we are the next Jon & Kate Plus 8 as my nurse made sure to warn me about at my injections lesson on Friday. My husband obviously does not do camera work for a living like I do so I'm sorry that most of this video is of my chest and my stomach roll. Warning--do not watch if needles make you queasy.

"Not Pregnant"

Did I mention how much I hate digital tests? Seeing "Not Pregnant" on a test is just too final and sad. Why can't they just say "Try Again", "Sorry," "No..darn it," or "Maybe Next Time?". Oh well girls! You know what this means...time to move on to injections. I remember thinking not that long ago that I would "never" give myself shots. Um yeah hand me that syringe...I'm ready...bring it on!