The "Perfect Cycle"....

unfortunately ended with a big fat no. I kept getting faint positives on my fav brand of pregnancy tests (first response) even 14 days after the hcg trigger shot so my RE's nurses wanted me to come in for b/w on Friday. I was freakishly calm up until the point that I walked out of the office doors and left my blood behind. All of a sudden it hit me that I had made a huge mistake. I thought I was going to be strong, but I lost it. I was overwhelmed with fear of hearing the nurse say those dreaded words and especially the day before the baby shower at my house. Well two hours later, I heard those dreaded words and once again I lost it (hcg was only 1.9). I met Shaun for lunch, but I was too emotional to go inside to eat so we drove my car over to Arby's and sat in the parking lot. I told him that I wanted to quit (which I knew wasn't true the moment it came out of my mouth), and he assured me that he was not going to let me give up because he knows how much we both want a baby. Somehow I was able to finish the rest of my work day, and then I had to go over to wal-mart and other stores to get all of my baby shower supplies. It was a pitiful sight. I'm sure I looked like a sad little lost puppy as I wondered the aisles of the baby section. I bought little hats, onesies, booties, pacifiers...all in our green and brown color scheme for my fireplace mantle clothes line (turned out really cute by the way). Late that night...I finished all of the decorations, and I actually had a good night's sleep. I think I had a lot of IF buddies praying for me this morning because I woke up with such a peace about the shower, and I had a wonderful time rejoicing with my friend. Thank you for all of your prayers and support...I'm truly blessed to know all of you even if I only know some of you through the blogger world.