Find the Cause!

One of my major frustrations with doctors while being treated for infertility was the very common practice of just treating the symptoms and not the cause(s). If you go to your GYN one year after trying, you will most likely get a 21 day progesterone bloodwork (maybe a thyroid and prolactin) and a semen analysis for your hubby along with a prescription for clomid. Go have fun! No monitoring with ultrasounds, no real concern for what is causing the ovulation problems...just here is your clomid candy. When that doesn't work (it does work for some people...yay for them), it is time to see a RE. Depending on your RE, you might get more of a thorough workup with different hormone levels, but from what I've witnessed from my own experience and read from other IF bloggers...it is more of the same just a more aggressive version. Hey here is this clomid or femara...come back around day 10 for an ultrasound...okay time to trigger with a hcg shot...two days later come back for an IUI. When that doesn't work, the next step for most REs is injectables. Other REs jump straight from the clomid/femara protocol to IVF (my dr is one of these- but I twisted his arm to do injectables...something not right about going from a $7 medication to a 10,000 cycle). So there you sit with two choices, go home with no baby and no treatment or take the 10,000 dollar plunge for IVF. Half of the couples (if you go to a good clinic) exit the scene at this point with their little miracles...with the other half having to go back to the RE for a WTH Appt (what the heck is a nicer term than what most IF bloggers use). Sometimes REs are able to give answers on why the cycle didn't work but for the most part it is just a better luck next time appointment. Now the couple feels like they can't step back to a more affordable treatment from IVF, they must slap down another 10 grand if they want to try again. Does anyone else see a problem with this??!! Now before I go any further...please do not get me wrong! I am all for REs--in fact I love them. They are the ONLY ones in my opinion who should prescribe fertility meds because of proper monitoring and nurse accessibility with a few exceptions. I love infertility treatments--clomid, injectables, IVF. All of these are important medications and treatments, but they should be used once everything (and I mean everything!) is looked at for possible causes of the infertility. Do you know I had to ask for my surgery? There is no way to know now if I would have gotten pregnant without the surgery but at least I know now the cause of my infertility (or at least part of the cause).

This vent now brings me to why I'm writing this post. My IRL friend also is completely frustrated with this process, and she has decided to take charge of her treatment plan and her overall wellness. She went back to her GYN to ask her to run every possible test/bloodwork that she could. If you saw this friend's medical file, you would think that every test would have already been run...unfortunately that is not the case. Everything so far has come back normal (still pending some results) except for a major vitamin D deficiency. After finding this out, my friend googled vitamin d deficiency and infertility and was floored by what she found. I had not heard about this study, and I couldn't wait to get home to google after hearing about it from her. I started taking Vitamin D3 1,000iu daily probably around August of last year along with my prenatal, baby aspirin, and dha/omega 3 oils because my mom bought some for me. We are all super sensitive about MS because my Aunt has MS, and there is a strong genetic link in our family. My Aunt's doctor told her that her younger female relatives should be taking vitamin d3 so that is why my mom purchased the vitamins for me. What if my deficiency was part of the cause for my ovulation problems??!!

Here is the current research on Vitamin D and Infertility: (hopefully more will come soon)

A team from Yale studied infertile women and their Vitamin D levels. Not a single woman with ovulatory disturbance or PCOS had normal Vitamin D levels. They even found that those undergoing infertility treatments that had a higher level of Vitamin D were more likely to achieve pregnancy. These studies were small so more in-depth studies are needed, but in the meantime...why not add a little Vitamin D supplement? (of course talk to your dr first). You might need a prescription for a major dose of Vitamin D if you are severely deficient. This was the case for my friend.

I encourage all of you who are still waiting for your precious little one to research and to become an advocate for your own health. Remember that you know your body more than anyone else. Ask questions. Demand bloodwork. Pray for wisdom. It is absolutely no skin off a doctor's nose (no idea where this saying came from?) to run a few tests. Checking your vitamin levels and ALL of your hormone levels is a great place to start. And once the levels come back...don't just accept that they are "okay"...know what the levels or results are and what they mean. Give hugs and read Eileen's story for just one example of why we have to be our own advocate (which includes finding the right doctor!).

If you do this or plan to...please let me know what you found!

The Postpartum Appt of Two Infertiles

At my postpartum visit this week another new mom in the waiting room saw that I just had Henry and decided to strike up a conversation with me. We talked about feeding and sleeping schedules and all of the typical newborn mom small talk, but as we were talking I couldn't help but notice another woman sitting close by and her body language as she listened to our conversation. I cringed as the new mom talked about how "weird it was to be at the clinic without being pregnant" and many other comments that I knew would have hurt me if I had overheard them a year ago when I was at the gyn for my annual in the middle of fertility treatments. The woman nearby was flipping through a magazine and cringing every time I was cringing. I tried to tell myself that I was just imagining things, but when I saw her obviously make a face when the lab tech said, "see you next year." I knew she was struggling with infertility. I decided that if anyone said anything about Henry while I was waiting for bloodwork that I would say something so that she could be encouraged or she could talk to me if she wanted. The lab tech that I had for what felt like a million appointments during the pregnancy started ooing and aahing over Henry so I took the opportunity to say, "he really is a miracle." She started talking about how all babies are miracles once you learn what can go wrong and then I replied that every baby is for sure a miracle once you realize all that has to happen. Immediately my infertile friend spoke up (took the bait!)..."did you have to do fertility treatments to get pregnant?" I couldn't believe I was actually right about her! But it turns out I was only partially right. She did previously struggle with infertility, but she was there for a postpartum appointment. She had to do IVF to get pregnant with her first, but then had two surprise pregnancies so she has her hands full now with three under three! After she made sure to tell me to be careful (that advice went in one ear and out the other-no birth control for us!), we discussed infertility treatments like we were old friends. I know infertility is common and that I could have just made a lucky guess, but there was something about her body language. She heard things the way I heard them. She was sitting there with three babies at home, but infertility changed her just like it changed me. We can't sit there and hear "see you next year" and not think about the poor girl that is there for her yearly and praying that it is not another year before she makes it back to the clinic again. Our prayers were answered...we have our miracles, but going through infertility will forever change us.

New Blog!

When I started Praying for a Little One in May 2008, I was in a very bad place in my life. The unfulfilled due date of Baby Faith had just passed, and I got a false positive pregnancy test on a clomid cycle that month. I found myself needing to write down my feelings to sort things out, but I didn't expect anyone to read along. I didn't anticipate how therapeutic blogging would be for me or the incredible amount of support and encouragement I would receive from the amazing community of infertility bloggers around the world. It is such a blessing to be able to look back now at the archives of Praying for a Little One and see what God has done in just a year. As I enter my third week of motherhood, I find myself wanting to blog about the little adventures and sweet moments of our little guy. I'm keeping Praying for a Little One active as an infertility blog and will continue to post thoughts and encouragement about infertility so I've decided to create a separate parenting after infertility blog. So much to say...so little time! It has definitely been the most life changing, challenging, and joyful three weeks of my life. Come laugh with us as we figure out how to be parents to our little miracle!
http://forthislittleoneweprayed.blogspot.com

Birth Story

August 7, 2009. The best day of our lives. The alarm went off at 3:30 AM, but I was already wide awake. I think I got about two hours of sleep. Shaun and I both easily got out of bed and started getting ready to leave for the hospital. I took a nice long shower and got all fixed up for the hospital. I'm sure the L&D nurses laugh at the couples who come in so cleaned up, but we were that couple--Shaun in his new light blue and white stripe polo, and I was in full makeup and pearls. We wanted to make sure we were the first ones in line at the hospital so we left our house at 4:30 AM to make it to the hospital by 5:00 AM (instead of 5:30 which is when we were actually supposed to be there). On the way over to the hospital I was having contractions five minutes apart. I was hoping that this might mean I could avoid pitocin, but unfortunately I still needed it. Shaun and I hurried in to the hospital to check-in, and we were happy to see that we were the first ones there. Shaun was making me laugh like crazy while we waited to be admitted. A couple minutes later...another couple arrived, and they even tried to save time by driving up to the door (this hospital is a one floor hospital with parking right in front- not really necessary). The competition was now on! They called both of us back at basically the same time to be admitted. I was getting out my cards as fast as I could and ready with my pen to sign as quickly as possible. Our lady was slow so the other couple almost beat us, but we got out right before them and made it to L&D first. Once we got into the room, they asked for the usual urine sample and for me to change into my hospital gown. This of course is when it started feeling more real, but we still were laughing and having a good time. The nurses made me take out my pearl earrings (so sad) and then attempted to have me take off my wedding ring--that ring wasn't going anywhere--it was so tight! I actually had a choice about whether or not I wanted an enema or not, and I opted for one--no pooping on the table for me! and I was hoping it would get labor going. They asked Shaun to go to the cafeteria for 30 minutes, and I was given some privacy :). I really didn't think the enema was bad at all, but I was pretty cleaned out already (see post below for more info if you really care to know ;). Right around 7 AM, my nurse for the day came in to get my pitocin started (started at 6 mu) , and I was so excited to see that it was my nurse from my pre-term labor scare- Elizabeth! She was so sweet that day when I was completely freaked out, and I knew she would be a great labor and delivery nurse. We sat and talked with her about our intentions to try for natural childbirth without medication. She was very supportive of whatever we wanted to try. Not long after that my doctor came in to check me and to break my water. I was still the same dilation/effacement from my appointment on Monday (3-4 cm). It was such a weird sensation when he broke my water....a big warm gush of fluid. And it kept coming and coming and coming...I couldn't believe how much fluid kept coming out for the next few hours. I started feeling more pain once my water was broken. At this point it was just an uncomfortable cramping at the time of the contractions. It was similar to the very, very beginning of my menstrual cramps (remember that I have endometriosis so I experience a much more intense level of pain once the cramps really kick in with my period). I knew at this point that it would be best for me to rest as much as possible and to stay distracted from the pain so I labored in bed and visited with several family members and friends. By the time my mom arrived to the hospital probably around 9 AM, my contractions were intense. They were now to the pain level that I experience with my menstrual cramps. I could no longer talk during the contractions, and it was impossible to distract me from the pain. The only difference between this and my cramps is that I actually got a two minute break and that made a huge difference. So to those endo girls out there...yes it is very close to childbirth pain. I always used to tell Shaun that my pain had to be close to childbirth, and I was right! My mom had natural childbirth with all four of us so she kept reminding me about the importance of relaxing during the contractions. This really is so key to dealing with the pain. If you tense up, you will experience so much more pain. You have to focus on relaxing your entire body during the contraction. My mom was sitting there trying to breathe and relax during the contractions, and it was cracking me up. It was obvious that she needed to breathe more than I did at that point--she was very tense as any mother would be when their daughter is in labor. Then my two wonderful sister-in-laws (I don't have any sisters so they are the closest thing I have, and they are the best) came in to see me for a few minutes. I was very happy to get to see them, and they came just in time. I was getting to the point where I was about to not be able to see anyone. I was able to visit like usual in between contractions, but I was really hurting during my contractions. They were all three rubbing me during the contractions which definitely helped. At this point I looked over at my pitocin dosage to see that it was 24...much more than 6...and I could tell. After my sister-in-laws left, my nurse checked me, and I was only 4 almost 5cm. I thought for sure I would have made more progress, but Elizabeth was very encouraging and explained to me that getting to five was the hardest part and that it will go much faster after reaching five...and she was right! It was at this point that Shaun and I both could tell it was time to start focusing and finding a rhythm and position that worked for me during the contractions. Elizabeth turned off the overhead lights, and Shaun started the music that we brought for labor (my blog playlist actually). I decided to sit on the exercise ball during the contractions. This is when hours felt like minutes. I know it would seem that it would be the opposite, but time flew for me. Shaun was an amazing labor coach. I mean amazing. The several hours that we spent together during labor were some of the most bonding moments of our entire marriage. Shaun massaged my lower back during every contraction and helped me stay focused on breathing and relaxing. The contractions were so close together at this point (pitocin now at 36) that we literally had less than a minute break sometimes no break at all between contractions. I moaned, rocked, and prayed out loud. It probably sounded like a revival was going down in that delivery room! I loved being able to experience labor physically and emotionally. It is hard to describe the pain level at this point in the labor, but the one thing that surprised me about the pain was the incredible amount of pressure that I felt with every contraction. It felt like I was feeling his head move down with every contraction, and it probably was! I felt more pressure while standing or on the birth ball, but I knew this meant that I was making progress. At the point that I decided to get an epi, I was no longer getting much of a break between contractions, and I started to feel fear of what was to come. This is very typical of the transition portion of labor, but I decided at that point to have my nurse check me and to probably get an epidural. She checked me, and I was almost 8 cm. I knew that I could make it without the epi, but I decided at that point that I didn't want to! Once I made the call for the epi, they sent Shaun out of the room to prepare me for the epi, and I had to stay in bed as they got everything setup. This was most definitely the worst pain I experienced during the entire labor. I didn't have Shaun there to help me through the contractions, and the pain was pretty much impossible to handle alone. I was extremely annoyed with the anesthesiologist and his nurse. The first thing the anesthesia nurse said when she walked in was "I knew you were going to get an epidural." I never even saw this woman before, and she just "knew" I was getting an epi. Were they taking bets out there or something? I was in the middle of a contraction so I didn't say a word, but I felt like calling off the epi at that second and telling her where she could put her epi. I know that doesn't sound like me, but I just about had it! But fortunately I didn't...and somehow I made it through the procedure without Shaun. It was definitely a relief when the epidural kicked in for sure. I don't regret getting the epidural at the end, and I most definitely don't regret attempting natural childbirth. I already know that if I'm blessed to ever experience labor again that I will try to avoid induction, and I will attempt a completely natural labor and delivery. It is like my recovery nurse said at the hospital, "if anyone actually had the opportunity to go into childbirth naturally...it might actually be possible to have a natural childbirth." I don't regret inducing this time because it was so wonderful to have all of our family in town the night before our delivery and the delivery day. Everything worked out exactly as I would have hoped, and I don't have any regrets. Shaun and I spent a few quiet moments together, and we both started to get emotional as we realized how close we were to holding our sweet boy. Not long after the epi, I was 10 cm, and it was time to start pushing. Wow! It is pretty much impossible to push when you can't feel yourself pushing! Shaun and I both weren't really prepared for the pushing stage of delivery. Shaun was on one side holding one leg up...my nurse Elizabeth was on the bed watching the progress and stretching, and another really great labor and delivery nurse held my other leg. They finally came in and turned my epi down which really helped me to be able to at least feel some pressure. And they brought in a mirror! I was a little not sure about this, but the mirror really helped! I was able to see his head, and it really helped to see that I was making progress. Plus, I was starting to get a little jealous of Shaun getting to see his head so I'm glad I got the mirror :). Yes...Shaun watched the progression the entire day so he wasn't at all freaked out by the look of things down there :). Two hours later...it was time to bring in the doctor and the team of nurses for delivery. It seemed like within seconds of the nurses making the call that the room transformed. Big lights came out from the ceiling...blue drapes were placed all over me, and everyone got into position. I couldn't believe the moment finally arrived. All of that waiting for this sweet little miracle, and we were minutes away. My doctor talked me through the rest of the pushes. And then I felt Henry enter the world. It was such an incredible feeling! My doctor lifted him up, and it was love at first sight. I reached out my hands to feel him as Shaun cut the cord, and my doctor asked if I wanted to hold him. I of course said, "Yes!! I want to hold him!!" and at that moment, he was placed in my arms. I will never forget how amazing it felt to feel him on my chest. I can't even describe the joy. They had to take Henry over to the warming table to get cleaned up so Shaun went over to be with him. Everyone was busy working around me, and I was just laying there laughing and crying at the same time. I'm sure my doctor was having a hard time stitching me up because I couldn't stop laughing! They had to take Henry over to the warming table to get cleaned up so Shaun went over to be with him. Everyone was busy working around me, and I was just laying there laughing and crying at the same time. A few minutes later (which felt like forever), I got to hold Henry again before Shaun took him out to see our family and friends. Everyone was waiting forever for us because they knew we were pushing around four and now it was 7 o'clock! I think everyone was getting pretty worried! Shaun walked out with him, and a few seconds later, I heard this big outburst of squeals. I started crying my eyes out at that point, and I asked a nurse to tell my mom to come back to see me. My mom came walking through the door, and she was crying really hard. It was such a special moment that we were able to share together. About 30 minutes later, Shaun and a nurse returned with our sweet boy to try to nurse. I was worried before delivery about breastfeeding for the first time, but the nurse helped him latch on, and he immediately took to breastfeeding. I just looked down and couldn't believe my eyes. What a miracle! A year ago I was preparing for surgery...in December we saw a sweet baby the size of a pea with a strong heartbeat...and now there he was looking at me with his precious eyes. How great is our God?
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:21-23

Baby Henry is Here!

"Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting" Psalm 126:5

Joyfully annoucing the birth of Henry Jackson born August 7, 2009, 7 lbs 7 ounces 21 inches long at 7:04 PM. He is a perfect miracle from God. Birth story coming soon...

Labor Update #2

Just a quick update...wow there really is no way to describe the pain. I held out until around 2 pm, but I decided to get an epi at 8 cm. I don't regret one second of the natural childbirth because I think it helped with progress, but now I'm relaxed and ready to enjoy the rest of the birthing process. Shaun was absolutely amazing!!! I'm getting pretty emotional as we get closer to meeting our sweet boy!! I can't believe it! Please pray for a safe and healthy delivery!

Labor Updates

Today is the day!! Shaun and I are so excited!! We are all checked in, and I'm having contractions five minutes apart without any meds yet. This is actually just a test to make sure that I can email updates from my blog via blackberry. Will continue to send many more updates so stay tuned!

Thankful.

I don't know what to do with myself! We are going to meet Baby Henry by Friday and as much as I try to wrap my brain around that I feel like I'm living in a dream. I know there is probably so much that I need to do around the house to prepare, but I don't know what to do. Some of our family is coming up tonight so this is my last chance to get ready. Right now I'm sitting here looking up at one of my favorite pictures taken of Shaun and I on our wedding day. Our photographer pulled us away from the reception to take some pictures outside. We sat on a bench together, and my forehead was resting on Shaun's cheeks. Most of our wedding day was a blur, but I can distinctly remember the stillness of that moment and how amazing it felt to be together. It makes me want to cry (I am crying actually) when I look at that picture because we had no idea at that time how much heartache we were going to face and how much deeper our relationship would become because of our trials together. I can now say as we are days away from meeting our sweet little miracle that I wouldn't take back one second of the wait...not one tear...because I'm so grateful for how God has used infertility in our lives. I can see His purpose in the pain. I've loved every moment of this pregnancy...even the bedrest. To feel so full of life after so many years of feeling empty and barren, there are no words to describe that joy. I guess to be honest there is a part of me that is a little sad about it being over, but I know that will all melt away when I finally get to look into the eyes of our sweet boy. I will keep all of you updated if anything happens!

Progress!

Just got back from a much better doctor appointment than last week! What a difference a week can make! I'm currently 3 almost 4 cm dilated, 60% effaced, and Henry is dropped and ready to go! Dr says it could be any day. We are going to wait on induction and if nothing happens by Friday morning then we will start a small dosage of pitocin to get things going. So what does this mean????? Shaun and I are going to get to meet our sweet boy by this Friday. We are literally hours/days away from holding him. As much as I try to wrap my brain around that, I just don't think I'm going to believe it until I get to kiss his sweet cheeks. I was holding back my excitement as much as possible while Shaun and I were in the clinic, but once we got into the elevator...I busted out into a little happy dance. I'm giddy :). I'm definitely going to update the moment I even think about going to the hospital! I even have the email update activated on this blog so I should be able to write emails on my blackberry to update the blog. All of you have been so sweet and supportive through this journey...I'm not going to leave y'all in the dark! Well off to get some last minute things done around the house. Body is definitely "cleaning out"...getting ready for labor, but no regular contractions just yet.

Waiting for the Big Day

When is it going to be?? When will we get to meet our sweet Henry? We go to bed every night and wake up every morning wondering if today could be the day. I really thought I wouldn't feel this way this week after our not-so-great appointment (not much progress), but of course starting Monday night and all week long I've had some pre-labor/early labor signs. Warning MAJOR TMI ahead (there is way too much information on this blog..why stop now??)...it all started with a pretty bad case of diarrhea (I stayed by the toilet most of Tuesday). Well of course this could be food poisoning/stomach bug/or an early labor sign. According to my new favorite book "The Birth Partner," loose stool/diarrhea is caused by an increase in prostaglandins.."these substances soften and thin the cervix and stimulate bowel activity." So of course I started to get a little excited...first time I've ever been excited by that! Then on Wednesday I was feeling pretty normal until late afternoon. I started noticing a lot of contractions so I decided to time them. They were coming every four minutes and lasting for a minute or longer. I also was feeling them more in my back, which is a first for me. I started getting everything ready for the hospital, and Shaun also got a few things together just in case. We didn't rush off to the hospital even though this went on for several hours because the contractions did not become closer together, and they were somewhat painful at times but I could easily be distracted from them. I've heard you really shouldn't think about going to the hospital until you can't talk through a contraction. And since we want to go natural, I would prefer to do some labor at home so no reason to rush. Around midnight...they stopped. sigh. We were starting to get excited :). The rest of this week I've continued to notice an increase in contractions. I also believe that he is dropped. There is a space between my boobs and my belly now (sorry tmi) and previously my boobs were pretty much resting on my belly. Another new development is these incredible sharp shooting pains that happen extremely low sometimes when I'm guessing that Henry is moving his head. It usually happens around a time that he is active so that is why I'm guessing he is the cause ;). It absolutely stops me in my tracks...I can't move, talk, think...until it passes. So there is the progress update! Now if we can just get the real facts on Monday and hope that there is some progress there. I can be patient (as much as I would love for him to come tomorrow), but progress would be encouraging. I've been sitting very unlady like in a squat on a exercise ball and on the edge of my couch this week trying to make sure he can get into position (trying to avoid a c-section here!). I will probably post a blog and some updates if I do go to the hospital! I try to close my eyes sometimes and picture holding him for the first time, and I just can't believe it is really going to happen and within DAYS. Will keep all of you updated!

37 (almost 38!) Dr Appt Update

Today we started out with a biophysical and weight estimate ultrasound to check on Baby Henry since he has been a little quiet these past few weeks. The good news is that he is practicing his breathing like he is supposed to, which is a great sign that he is still doing very well in my belly. He is also estimated to be a big boy for 37 weeks at 7 lbs 7 ounces. Now I know that ultrasound measurements are consistently wrong so he could be smaller, but it is good to hear that he seems to be a nice healthy size. The ultrasound tech also pointed out that he has huge hands! They were so cute and chunky :)...can't wait to kiss them! I was feeling pretty encouraged and excited after the ultrasound because he looked so great. Unfortunately, I didn't get the best news during the cervix checking portion of my doctor appointment :(. Still no progress...Henry hasn't dropped, no changes in dilation or effacement. Apparently most first babies drop weeks before their due date and if this doesn't occur...my doctor starts to wonder if there isn't a reason for why he hasn't dropped (ex: too big for pelvic bone structure). We talked again about a possible induction date of August 5th (holy cow that is in a week), but I explained to my doctor that I'm not interested in inducing until/unless absolutely necessary. All of the c-section and induction talk left me feeling very discouraged and confused, but I'm feeling better after talking it over with some family and friends. We have waited a long time for this sweet baby boy, and if there is one thing that infertility has taught me it is patience during a unknown waiting period :). As much as I'm looking forward to the sweet day that we get to hold our little boy, I can wait until he is ready. All we can do now is pray that things will progress and most importantly pray for a healthy and safe delivery. In the meantime...I'm going to choose to treasure this precious time that I have left with Henry in my belly. He is growing up too fast already :).

Now for my curious readers...what is in those bags?? I tried my best not to over pack, but I can't help myself at the same time :).

The Labor Bag-

Freezer ziplock of snacks for Shaun- granolas, fruit snacks, trail mix--have to keep that labor coach energized!

Blood pressure cuff and belts- the l&d nurses asked for me to bring these back...I guess it saves the hospital money or me?

"The Birth Partner" by Penny Simkin- absolutely the BEST I've seen in information regarding natural childbirth...has a lot of easy to find/quick guides for situations that might come up

Labor Positions chart

Massage tools and lotions--also included a sock with two tennis balls in case of back labor

Chapstick

Focal point--Henry's 4d pics

Eyeglasses--didn't know if they would make me take my contacts out if I had a c-section

Also plan on packing my ipod with some tunes

Slippers and socks

Thin robe

Hair Bands

Diaper Bag

Going home outfit--blue with white polka dot kissy kissy gown with hat to match and white booties :)

2 gowns

1-2 side snap white shirts

2 pairs of socks

1 receiving blanket

2 burp cloths

Nursing Pads


Postpartum Bag-a.k.a Post-party Bag- Shaun has only heard the term postpartum in the context of postpartum depression so he said we should call it the post-party bag instead :)

No-so-cute Panties

Blue Nursing gown with robe

Light Pink Nursing gown with robe

Nursing Bras

Notepad


Toiletries Bag

All of our toiletries that we use in travel size. Packed new toothbrushes and contact solution in case we don't have time to pack. Also packed flushable wipes because the hospital toilet paper is like sandpaper--but I heard I will be using a spray bottle so who knows??!!


I also have a quick list of things to grab at the last minute...including what Shaun will need to pack for the hospital and a tech bag with video camera, digital camera, laptop, chargers, etc.

I'm obviously just guessing when it comes to what to pack...what am I missing experts??!!

Term!! We made it!!

37 weeks today! What a blessing! I can't believe we are full-term today! There were days on bedrest that I really doubted we would ever get to this day. More new posts below...

P.S. Bags are packed :) From Left to Right: Postpartum Bag, Toiletries Bag, Diaper Bag, and Labor Bag

The Baby Shower

It is hard to even put into words how much my baby shower meant to me on Sunday. I woke up on Sunday morning very excited about the shower, but I had to almost keep telling myself that it was happening because I could hardly believe it. I took a lot of time getting ready so I wouldn't feel rushed and tried to make myself look as cute as possible in this not-so-cute stage of pregnancy. I even wore maternity spanx! I don't think they helped but oh well I tried :). Shaun helped me pick out which heels to wear, and I was off to my baby shower. I could already feel the emotions starting to come up when I was driving over to the shower, but when I pulled up to the shower...I lost it. The shower was at my good friend Bridget's house. Bridget has walked this journey with me every step of the way. She unfortunately knows all too well the pain of loss and trying to conceive, and we are still waiting for the miracle that God has for them. As I drove up, I couldn't help but think about the many conversations that we shared at her house...she comforted me after my loss, I "coached" her with her first shot, discussions about treatments, and times when there wasn't much either one of us could say. But now I was driving up for my baby shower, and I couldn't help but feel so many conflicting emotions at the same time. Her mailbox was tied with baby blue balloons...a stork next to her door, but it was for me. It was difficult and humbling to see. I had these huge tears in my eyes, and I quickly found a napkin in my glove compartment to hold up to try to absorb the tears. I somehow pulled myself together, and I had an even harder time as I walked in to the cutest baby shower I've ever seen. I'm so blessed to have such wonderful friends who have supported me and loved me through some of the hardest and best times of my life. Several of my friends from my support group came to my shower, and it really meant so much to me to have them there. It is amazing the close bond that we all have when we only see each other once a month. Once everyone started to arrive, I was too busy to get too emotional, and I had such a fun time seeing everyone and of course opening all of the precious gifts for Baby Henry :). I couldn't have asked for a more perfect shower. And here are some pics to prove it!

Adorable wreath and mantle...taking it with me to hossy for my postpartum door :)


Close-up


Antique Baby Carriage for gifts


HUGE Belly!




Adorable cupcakes..H for Henry!






My beautiful hostesses

36 Week Dr Appt Update

I had my weekly dr appt on Monday morning, and there isn't much to report from the appointment! I'm STILL 1 cm dilated (same as 28 weeks), and I'm kinda getting ready to start seeing a little progress. I think it is so cute of my uterus to now decide that she is no longer "irritable." This is when I'm suppposed to be feeling more Braxton Hicks contractions not at 27-28 weeks. I definitely felt more contractions then than I do now. I am so grateful though that Henry is safe and cooking! I said from the beginning of the pre-term scare that I would keep my eyes on our due date, and I continue to see that as our goal. Awwwh he might even have chunky cheeks :). They did hook me up to the belts for some time to check on him because I've noticed a decrease in movement, but he was doing just fine. Next dr appt is on Monday with a bio-physical ultrasound to check on him.

35 Weeks and Dr Appt Update

I know I keep saying this, but time is flying! I thought this was the part of the pregnancy that things were supposed to drag! I will be 36 weeks on Wednesday, and we only have 30 days until our due date. 30 days or less until I get to hold my boy! (disclaimer: may actually be more than 30 days!). Shaun and I are getting very excited, and we are continuing to nest like crazy. If Henry really doesn't come until his due date or after no telling what this place is going to look like. Shaun even got new lighting fixtures for our bathroom last night at Lo.we's. I'm still very much enjoying my time with Henry in my belly, and I'm surprised by how comfortable I am these days. I'm definitely getting to the point where it is hard to stay on my feet for very long, but as long as I take breaks and stay off my feet, then I am good to go! This Sunday is my baby shower. I can't tell you how weird it feels to write that sentence. My baby shower...wow. I'm going to be an emotional disaster. I'm either going to walk around with a lump in my throat the entire time and make it through or one present or comment is going to trigger it...and I'm going to be crying uncontrollably. I'm trying to decide if I should go buy a new dress for the shower. It seems a little silly to buy a maternity dress at this point, but none of my dresses fit anymore. You know your belly is getting big when your maternity clothes don't fit!! I don't like either of the mother.hood stores in this area so that leaves me with a fancy maternity boutique type place, which probably also means...cha ching! I will probably go look tomorrow. In other shopping news...Shaun and I bought a new video camera! We actually found the camera at "Worst" Buy, but we bought the display model for several hundred dollars off. Shaun and I agreed that we wanted to get an HD camera...Henry in HD is a must! so I'm glad we were able to find one in our budget. It is also a Sony, which I'm very happy about because I've always liked Sony cameras. I LOVED the quality/performance of the Sony XD.Cam that we had at my old job even though I didn't get to play with it very much since we got it a few months before I left :(. But I did get to edit some of the footage and that was a lot of fun. So now that we have a video camera of course we are getting it out and playing with it! And we both couldn't get over how fat we looked! I'm sure the camera adds ten pounds..right??!! Shaun has now decided to put down the milkshakes and to try to lose some weight before Henry gets here. I on the other hand have accepted that this is just part of it, and I will continue to drink my chicky.fil.a milkshakes! Have y'all had one of those?? They are the best! I haven't tried the peach one yet, but I'm sure it is good too. If you haven't tried one...start with the cookiesncream...it is our fav. On the subject of weight it is probably a good time to now talk about my dr appt today...

I love my nurse. She seriously is the best. She cracked me up today..."Wow..You are still pregnant! I was telling Dr. C today...man doesn't it feel like Courtney has been pregnant forever??!!." I know they are tired of seeing me in their office! My first appt was super early into my pregnancy, and I hardly ever made it from a regular appt to another regular appt without having to go in for some "scare." Then she takes my weight and says "oh just two pounds" in the sweetest voice. She made it sound so pleasant that I didn't even realize that was two pounds in ONE week (thanks Mom for pointing that out ;). My Group B Strep was positive so they will have to start antibiotics in an IV when I get to the hospital...haven't googled this yet but it seems common and no cause for an alarm. And there were NO changes to my cervix...just a fingertip dilated still with about 60% effacement (actually I can't remember if it was 40 or 60 so I'm going with 60 for now :). I'm glad that this means that Henry is most likely not coming anytime soon and that we will have a fully cooked little guy...what a blessing!! But now I start to worry that after all of that pre-term labor, medicine, bedrest that I'm going to stay fingertip forever. Doctor seems confident that I will probably make progress soon and reminded me that it will be good for him to stay in until 39 since he is a boy. I also finally had the natural chat with my doctor. He was very sweet about it, and said that he would not pressure me to do anything and that it was completely up to me. The only concern that he had is that he didn't want me to feel like a failure if I ended up with a c-section or an epi. I explained to him that we realize that a lot is out of our control but that we would like to try. He told me to explain to the L&D nurses our plans and that they would completely respect my wishes. We laughed a lot, and I told him that if I started cursing that I would get an epi (he is an elder in our church). So YAY for getting that little chat over with! I definitely felt like I needed to be honest with him, but I felt a little silly knowing that is NOT something he hears very often these days. I think the most common question he probably gets at this stage is "when can we get this baby out?" and "how soon after I get to the hospital can I get my epi?" Another appt next Monday...

Oh and I forgot to mention that bags are packed and ready to go! And that Shaun installed the carseat this weekend. We love seeing it in our backseat...so fun! Here are some pics...

Shaun after the "easy" installation.


Catching Shaun in the middle of a little happy dance. This picture doesn't really capture how cute it was, but it makes me laugh so here it is...


"Yay I finally have a carseat in my car!"


"Uh oh...this is already heavy without a baby!"


Ready to go! Carseat with sunshade and mirror so we can watch Baby Henry in our rear view mirror.

34 Weeks, Dr Appt Update

So here I am again only 20 minutes away from 35 weeks, and I'm just now sitting down to do my 34 week post. Time is flying!! We are in major preparation mode at our house right now, and Shaun and I are both nesting. Sometimes I think Shaun has more pregnancy symptoms than I do! He has been complaining of reflux right along with me (very strange because he never has any problems with that), and I even think he is starting to crave milkshakes. He spent hours cleaning and organizing our garage on Saturday morning while I stayed on the couch wondering when the nesting would hit me. Last night, I finally had a burst of energy and scrubbed our toilet for a ridiculous amount of time. My friend was sitting on our bed talking to me while I was working on it, and she stopped her story at one point and was like, "Courtney! how dirty was your toilet??!!" Well it definitely needed a good clean, but I guess I might have gotten a little carried away.

Doctor Appt Update: So I'm still a fingertip dilated, which at this point is a good thing. Of course, leave it to me to now worry that I'm never going to make any more progress and that I'm going to stay fingertip forever. When my nurse got me into my room, she was like "oh yeah and we need to get you a date!" I had NO clue what she was talking about, but I said..."oh yeah....a date!." And matched her enthusiasm! I figured it out later when my dr said that we could induce on August 5th if we wanted to deliver that day. Um....that is in less than a month??!! Of course at first I got excited, but induction is NOT what I want so I had to have a little pep talk/conversation with myself. Shaun and I are hoping and planning for a vaginal delivery without induction and no pain meds. I understand that this is just a plan and that it could end up being thrown completely out the window, but it is our goal. It would be really nice to know the date, and I would certainly love to know that I would be holding my sweet boy this time next month, but I can't let myself be tempted. What happened to the good ole days when your doctor would make you go forever after your due date before he would even talk about inducing?! And why does it feel like an epidural is required for delivery? I feel like I'm a rebel or something because I want to go natural. Now I know a lot of you are thinking..."Courtney...why in the world would you want to go natural?" Well to be honest, I want to feel childbirth. I want to experience it physically. I'm actually excited about it. And there is also this tiny part of me that wants to see how close my endometriosis menstrual cramps (where I passed out from the pain or couldn't walk or moaned in pain) were to childbirth pain--but believe me that is not the main reason why I'm going natural :). I've told only a few people about our plans for natural because usually most people freak out when you tell them you are considering it. I haven't even told my doctor because I don't want to see the look he gets on his face or to hear how he thinks it is best to go with the epi. I guess I have to bring this up at some point??!! Or maybe he can just figure it out when he walks in the delivery room, and I don't have a big smile on my face :). Thoughts?? I have decided to make sure to inform my labor and delivery nurse that we don't want pain meds and that I don't want to be offered pain meds. I think that would make it so hard if they kept asking..."are you sure you don't want an epi? or a little something to take the edge off??." I also ran into a friend at a baby store the other day who delivered at the same hospital that we are going to, and she said that the nurse didn't even really ask her if she wanted the drugs. She just said "here you will want this" and forced some loopy medicine into her IV. She said it never wore off and that it just made her feel out of it. I don't want to be "out of it" for one of the most exciting moments of my life. This gave me a little idea of what to expect with the staff so I know I'm going to have to be pretty firm in the beginning. Heck maybe I should even come in with a birth plan so they will really like me then :).

YAY for 35 weeks! It is time for bed!

33 Weeks

I still can't get over how fast the weeks are flying by now. I realized today that I better hurry up and post a blog because 33 weeks is almost over! I have to say that this makes me super, super excited and a little sentimental/sad at the same time. This pregnancy definitely had some ups and downs, but overall I have thoroughly enjoyed carrying my little guy. I love feeling him move all around and how strong he is these days. My favorite movement to feel is when he moves either his knees or his elbows (not sure which one!) across my belly. Shaun still enjoys watching my belly move all around or feeling him move, but he is definitely ready for Henry to be here. I can just see the excitement grow for him as we get closer and closer. Yesterday morning, we were laying in bed talking/reminiscing about the pregnancy. Shaun brought up about how we found out on Thanksgiving day, and it got me thinking. When we were trying to conceive or probably even before when I would think about someday getting pregnant (you know how us girls like to daydream), I would dream about finding out that we were pregnant on a holiday and telling family and friends on a holiday. I also figured out during this dreaming that November was the BEST month to get pregnant because you could wear all of the cute maternity clothes (no need to bundle up that huge belly). Those of you who have been readers for a long time know that all of these little dreams came true. We got pregnant in November, found out on Thanksgiving morning, shared with some family on Thanksgiving and surprised the rest with a little ultrasound video at Christmas...not to mention that I have gotten to wear all of the cute summer maternity dresses :). How amazing is it that God listens to even those little desires deep in your heart that you don't even share with anyone? He had it planned all along! His perfect timing.

I didn't get a 33 week picture on Wednesday of me holding up the fingers...but my friend did take a photo of me in a pool. Yes! I finally got to float, and it was even better than my expectations. One thing that surprised me was when I was getting out of the pool...all of a sudden all of the weight that I'm carrying hit me as I stepped out. I had no idea I was carrying so much until I got a little break from it :). No wonder I move so slowly these days!

Being back in public after five weeks of isolation has been very interesting! I forgot how much people love to stare at pregnant women. Also everyone wants to stop and talk to you...when are you due? boy or girl? My favorite story from this week is when I went to go get the oil changed in my car. I walked over to find a magazine and sit down to wait, and I heard these two ladies laughing really loud. I finally looked up and realized they were laughing AT me!! One of the women said, "Honey...you look as cute as a button...but it is just too hot to be THAT pregnant." Now it is probably the hottest and driest summer on the record books for Mississippi so that might be slightly true, but I must be way bigger than I think I am if people are actually laughing out loud at the sight of me. I think I am in a little bit of a denial about how big my belly actually is these days. Shaun says I am so I will take his word for it :). He likes to tell me how "huge" I am, and it makes me laugh because not very many husbands could get away with comments like that, but I let it slide because I know what he means. He is constantly telling me that I look "hot" or "so cute," which is really sweet because he sees me naked :). And it looks like I have gotten attacked by a cat on my butt, thighs, and the top of my hips. Glad I didn't put stretch mark cream on this entire pregnancy only to be applying it in the wrong place...my belly doesn't have a single mark!!

Well sorry for such a long, random post but I had a lot to share!

Big News!

I had my dr appt today, and my ob took me off bedrest!! So as of today I am a free woman! I will of course continue to take it easy, stay hydrated, and take meds, but I'm very happy to be able to do some things! I can't believe how fast the past five weeks have gone by! It wasn't easy, but it really wasn't nearly as hard as I thought it would be. I'm actually grateful for the time that I had to rest up and to process all that is happening right now. Henry passed the biophysical ultrasound with flying colors, and he is measuring a little ahead at 4 lbs 12 ounces. He should gain approx. a half a pound a week from now until he is born. I just can't get over that I'm going to get to meet him soon. Shaun and I both are having little thoughts/dreams pop in our head that get us so excited. Like last night in the kitchen, Shaun said "ooh! I just thought about Christmas! Think about how much fun Christmas will be with Henry." It is all starting to feel real as we get the house ready to bring him home, but I don't think it will really feel completely real until we hold him in our arms. Thank you for all of the prayers and encouragement during bedrest...I can't tell you how much it meant to me! P.S. Expect a 33 week picture not from the couch this week!

32 Weeks....YAY!

Yesterday was our big Wednesday celebration day! I can't believe we are 32 weeks! 32 weeks means that we've met our doctor's immediate goal and that we have completed an entire month of bedrest. A month went by super fast so I know the last two weeks are going to fly! Shaun brought home bbq sandwiches, potato salad and baked beans from my favorite BBQ restaurant in town (yum yum!), and we watched another chick flick this week (He's Just Not that Into You). I love our Wednesday nights :). I realized at the end of the night that we didn't take a 32 week pic, and I can't stand breaking tradition so we decided to take a pic of just our hands since we both were not picture ready (if you know what I mean-wink wink). By the way...I just realized that I held up 32 weeks last week...what was I thinking??!! And none of y'all called me out on that! Wednesdays are also the days that I take a shower and let myself take a little more time (sitting down of course) to fix my hair and makeup. Shaun came home from work and said, "Wow what did you do?...you look hot." I'm sure it was a nice change to see me in regular clothes with clean hair and makeup. Right before Shaun got home from work, I decided to stand up and experiment with taking a few maternity pictures of myself. I know this sounds silly, but I was so scared that I was going to go into labor and not have any decent pictures of my last few weeks of pregnancy. Here is a sample of some of the photos & our fingers holding up 32!

Pretty funny pic and we kinda got our fingers in the wrong order...but hey we tried and we didn't break tradition!



Shaun purchased this entire outfit for me by himself last weekend at Target...he has such great taste!



This is what happens when you attempt to take pictures of yourself...no face :)

Daddy Instinct

Last night was probably one of the funniest (and sweetest) things I've witnessed in a long time. Shaun was very tired from a long week of work so he feel asleep on the couch and told me to wake him after I was done getting ready for bed. I really wasn't that tired so after turning out all of the lights, I decided to lay down on our love seat to do a little internet surfing and blog reading. Jen from Maybe If You Just Relax posted a blog about the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. I just finished reading the book as part of my quest to learn everything I can about babies on bedrest so I decided to take a look at what Jen had to say about the book. At the end of her fabulous summary of Dr. Karp's 5 Ss, she had two related youtube videos to watch. I watched the first video which was about ten minutes on a very low volume, and Shaun didn't move a bit...he was definitely in a deep sleep. When I clicked on the second video, a newborn was crying, but I didn't think it would bother Shaun since it was at such a low volume. About two seconds into the crying, Shaun all of a sudden throws off his covers...pops off the couch and starts sprinting to the bedroom door. "Courtney, Courtney are you okay?? I thought I heard a baby crying??!!" When I first saw him throw off the covers I thought I woke him and that he wasn't happy about it, but there he was obviously distraught at our bedroom door with his hair sticking up everywhere and a big line down his face from the blanket he was using. I have never seen anyone move that fast from a deep sleep. It was like he turned into Jackie Chan. At this point I was confused..."Shaun, are you okay?" Once he realized that I was laying on the loveseat, he got this priceless look of relief on his face. "I thought you were hurt...I really thought I heard a baby crying." We both started laughing as we realized what happened. "Well it definitely seems like your daddy instinct is ready!"

It really meant a lot to me to see Shaun react like that to a little newborn cry. It made me realize that I'm not the only one who is going through a lot of changes and feeling some anxiety. And he must really love us to sprint into action that fast from a deep sleep! He is going to be the best daddy!

31 Weeks and Dr Appt Update

I am a very happy bedrest camper right now! I had a great doctor's appointment this afternoon, and I'm starting to feel like a full term delivery is a likely possibility for us! I was so nervous about this appointment. Henry was hardly moving at all this morning, and I was having some unpleasant symptoms that can be a sign of labor. I was thinking the absolute worst! Dr checked me, and my cervix is still holding steady at a fingertip dilated (YAY!!). I expressed my concerns about Henry's lack of movement so he sent me for a biophysical ultrasound. We had to wait for him to practice breathing...it took some time, but he finally practiced. I enjoyed watching my little guy on the screen for an extended period of time. He was taking a nice nap but thankfully he moved around a little for me. Henry is getting so big! It doesn't seem that long ago that he was just the size of a pea on our first ultrasound. My next appointment is Tuesday, June 23rd, and we will do another biophysical ultrasound to check in on our little guy.

In other news....I'm 31 weeks!! Last night was our big Wednesday celebration. Shaun brought home subs for dinner, and we watched Marley & Me. ****Spoiler Alert****- the miscarriage scene where they found out at the ultrasound that the baby's heartbeat had stopped beating (very similar to how we found out with baby faith) just about put me into uncontrollable sobbing. But overall it was a great movie, and it was a fun night together! And even though I look rough on bedrest...I still feel the need to document every week's celebration.

Doctor Appointment Update

My doctor appointment went very well yesterday morning. I had a list of questions ready, and now I have a better understanding of what to somewhat expect for the next few weeks. Our immediate goal is 32 weeks, and my ob will take me off my meds and bedrest at 34 weeks. I definitely plan on making it to 34 weeks so I have approx a month left of bedrest (July 1st to be exact!). I asked why in the world my uterus is acting like this (like I should expect after all of this for my uterus to behave lol), and my ob explained that I have a few risk factors but for the most part some women just have an irritable uterus. Next d/a is Thursday morning.

Yesterday afternoon (after a little meltdown on Thursday evening) I was so positive and happy. I got back from my d/a, and I felt great about four more weeks of bedrest..."oh I so can do that...no problem!" I played Wheel of Fortune on our PS3 for part of the afternoon (I've discovered that this is another way to entertain myself), and then my friend came by with her cute little guy for a quick visit. It is so fun to watch him because Henry will be around his same age this time next year...pretty exciting to think about! Anyways all this to say that I was having a very good bedrest day. Today.....um not so much. I hate to even complain because I know that this time last year if I read what I was writing one year later I would want to reach into the future and slap myself. But I'm turning into a crazy lady!! I'm so emotional...so on edge...so frustrated with my husband (he gets to go play tennis while I stay at home by myself on a Saturday)...my uterus is irritable...I'm irritable. I of course don't want to get off bedrest because I want Henry to stay in here until he can enter the world safe and healthy, but it doesn't make this any easier. Okay I'm done venting, and I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day! Wow I feel so much better after writing that...whew!

On a happier note...Henry's movements are so strong. I love watching my belly move all day. I can definitely tell he is getting big, which of course warms my heart. I can't wait to hold him in my arms and put his sweet cheeks next to mine and squeeze him so close.

The Big 30!

Last night we celebrated 30 weeks! Doesn't 30 weeks sound so much better than 29 weeks? I really wasn't feeling that great last night so I took a long nap in Shaun's lap, and he said I was sleeping very hard (I'm guessing that was a nice way of saying that I was snoring). I don't know how it is possible for me to be tired after laying around all day long! After I woke up, I decided that even though I looked awful that I still wanted to continue our new tradition of taking a picture of our weekly celebration.



And here is my "lovely" 30 weeks belly shot...I'm hoping to get a better one tomorrow at my dr appt...



Speaking of my doctor appointment...I'm really looking forward to getting out of the house and having a sit down with Shaun and my doctor. I feel like I have so many questions, but I don't really know what to ask??!! I'm going to write a couple questions down this evening so that I don't completely blank when I get in there. I will definitely update tomorrow after my appointment!

Top 10 Things I Love about Bedrest

10. Laying around all day with a sink full of dirty dishes and no guilt
9. Not waking up until around noon everyday
8. Watching Judge shows and laughing at what people actually say (Judge Toler is my fav so far--she is tough but sweet). side note--I don't have cable, and I'm NOT going to watch soaps.
7. Getting lots of phone calls from friends because they know I'm free to talk
6. Reading about what to do once this little guy actually gets here
5. Staying in my pjs or lounge pants all day
4. Watching birds or Larry the lizard--yes I named him...outside my window
3. Shaun looking at me like any sudden move and I might pop--he actually told me that I need to pretend that my belly is a balloon
2. "It's going to be a hot summer!"--Not for me! It is 72 degrees with a slight breeze. I'm so scared to see our power bill this month--I'm in Mississippi...it is going to be a big one!
1. Feeling Henry's every move because I'm laying still all day--loving it! He is getting so strong--it is like an earthquake in my belly.

Back from dr...

I decided to call my nurse this morning because I'm still having contractions while taking procardia. She thought it would be best for me just to go ahead and come in to be monitored. I'm glad she did because it really gave me peace of mind. I was definitely having what they like to call "irritability" (a wavy line the entire time)and a few larger contractions. My nurse was saying that I definitely had something going on there, but then my doctor came in and said that he "wasn't that impressed" with my contractions. He checked my cervix (I was terrified that he was going to see more progress and send me to the hossy), and there was no change!! We also did a transvaginal ultrasound to check the cervix length, and it was 3.1 cm, which is a slight improvement from two weeks ago. So what does this tell us? We are on the right track with the procardia and bedrest. I really do think that the bedrest is helping! And my dr must agree because I got the impression from him today that I'm on bedrest for good. Considering Wednesday makes me 30 weeks...I'm guessing that I have about six more weeks. So how do I feel about this? Well this morning I started writing this really sad pity party post about all of the things I'm not going to get to do because I'm on bedrest. I'm glad that I didn't post it because it was pretty pitiful, but I will mention a few things. We should be on our way right now to our first childbirth class. I was so excited about our childbirth class that I registered for it in early March. I was just looking forward to being a normal little happy expectant couple going to childbirth class. I had it all planned out that Monday nights were going to be our date nights and that we were going to go out to dinner after class. Oh the best laid plans! I also had two showers planned for this month...One here in town and one in our hometown in Alabama. Then a quick trip after the AL shower to the beach with Shaun to meet up with my close college friends (I had a really cute bathing suit by the way). Add to that list a maternity photo shoot, prenatal massage and pedicure gift certificate that I can't use, soaking in pools, shopping for Henry, a breasfeeding class, and a much needed haircut. So yes I'm a little sad. I'm sad that I can't just be normal for once. I try not to think about what this could potentially mean for future pregnancies and fertility treatments but I do. This could be it for me. We won't be able to risk multiples like we did to get pregnant with Henry. With all of that said...I am so blessed, and I have absolutely no reason to complain. Who cares if I can't get a massage or go on a beach trip?? Who cares! I have the sweetest most precious gift inside me right now, and I will do anything for him.

"Velcome to Baby Land"

This week I watched Father of the Bride Part II and laughed my head off. Franck cracks me up! Last time I watched F of B Part II, I cried my eyes out. It was on television, and it was probably right after a big fat negative. Shaun came in the room and caught me with tears running down my face. He always seemed to walk in when I was watching some baby program (deliver me, baby story) and crying. He would always say, "Courtney, you have got to stop doing this to yourself!"--and then he would make me change the channel. But instead of getting on to me with F of B II, he sat down and watched it with me. I guess he realized that I needed to cry it out. One of my favorite parts is when Franck shows George the baby suite, and he says "Velcome to Baby Land." Well thanks to my sweet husband's very hard work last weekend, we now have our very own baby land. It is missing all of the final touches like curtains, accessories, and wall hangings but still we have a nursery! Here is a sneak peak...the pictures make the walls look like they have a lavender undertone but I promise it is straight up light blue.







And here was the last picture taken of me out and about..right before the big scare and bedrest...27 week bump.

And here we are celebrating 29 weeks! Wednesday is our official new week day, and we have decided to celebrate every Wednesday. I put on a cute shirt and my Henry necklace (Bridget gave to me as my Mother's Day gift--very special to me) before Shaun got home. Shaun brought home some nutty buddy ice cream cones, and we took a picture. I ended up changing my shirt before the pic because I didn't want to get any food on my shirt.



Oh and here is the blue glow that I get to enjoy from my couch...


This post would not be complete without a big thank you to my Mom! She got here last Thursday night, left a few hours ago to go back home, and she worked like crazy the entire time she was here! My kitchen cabinets and pantry are completely re-organized, bathrooms are clean, and a freezer full of yummy casseroles and soups are ready for us to eat. It was so great to have her here! I really enjoyed her company. Thanks Mom! Love You!

Bedrest: Day 7

Almost a week down!! It really wasn't that bad. I'm starting to get adjusted to the horizontal life. I haven't really accomplished anything this week...just lots of movies, tv, Internet surfing, and some reading. My mom arrived on Thursday night, and it makes a huge difference to have her here. Speaking of Thursday night, I spent another couple hours in labor and delivery. Shaun was on his way back from picking up my mom, and I was all alone at the house. All of a sudden I started having severe lower back pain and very strong lower pain/pressure. I of course completely freaked out and called my OB on his cell phone, and he told me to come in to the hospital. This was the first time during all of this that I was actually feeling pretty significant pain, and I thought we were in big trouble! I knew I couldn't drive myself so I called my friend that lives the closest to me to come pick me up. Poor thing, I think I really scared her! Of course we got behind the slowest person who was hardly even paying attention to the road. I started to get really emotional, but I held it together. Once we got to the hospital and through admissions, the nurse hooked me up to all of the monitors and also swabbed me for a fetal fibronectin (fFN) test. I was feeling so much pressure, but they weren't picking up very many contractions (lots of irritability but no big ones). Long story short...it was a false alarm. My back started feeling a lot better before I even got in bed from walking around...I now know that the lower back pain was just a symptom of two days of bedrest ;) because my back hurts all of the time now. And the pressure...how do I put this in a nice way?...apparently I was full of a ton of gas!! so tmi and I will spare you more details...but that is what it was! Procardia gives me constipation, gas, and hot flashes/flushing. It almost feels like taking clomid around the clock lol. But I'm not complaining! I've heard the other meds have much worse side effects so I'm hoping we can stick with procardia. The ffn test came back negative so that tells us that I only have a 3% chance of delivering in the next two weeks, which really put my mind at ease. Obviously we are not out of the woods yet, but I'm still sticking to my goal of making it all the way. Actually I've kinda adjusted my goal to 36 weeks, but I would still love to make it to August! As far as contractions go...I'm still having them. Last night was the worst I've had since last week, but today I've had what I affectionally call my "procardia jelly belly." You can tell the muscles are completely relaxed, which is what I want. My friend Andrea was here last night, and she felt a contraction and then felt again when it was a jelly belly...it completely freaked her out lol. In other news...I can't seem to get enough food. I'm eating like a cow! I really thought I wouldn't have a big appetite since I'm not moving around, but it is exactly the opposite. I want to make sure Henry is a big boy so I guess I'm just eating to make sure he gets chunky. We also have a nursery now! It is not an empty room anymore! Shaun painted the nursery blue this weekend and setup all of the furniture. Now it just needs cute curtains, wall hangings and accessories, but it feels so good to have a room for him now. From my couch I can see a little blue glow from his nursery, and it warms my heart. I will have to take a pic during one of my bathroom breaks and post some soon. Well sorry for such a rambling post...just had a lot of random bedrest thoughts.

Pre-term Labor & Bedrest

It is hard to even know where to begin with this post! The past couple of weeks I might have mentioned on my blog that I've been having tons of braxton hicks contractions. I tried to not let them concern me because they weren't painful, pretty irregular and "normal" for this time in pregnancy, but part of me was starting to feel like something wasn't right. It is so hard to know what is normal in pregnancy, but I felt like the frequency was starting to increase daily, and I had a hard time believing that women walked around with as many braxtons as I did. But I'm so tired of being "that" patient. I have not made it from one appointment to the next without having to come in this entire pregnancy (except from my 7wk to 11wk appt...but I think I called several times lol). Well Monday afternoon/evening I started to notice a significant increase in contractions. I figured I was just dehydrated or something so I started drinking tons of water. And I started timing them...they were one minute long, three minutes apart. I know at this point all of you are probably going to kill me for not going into L&D, but I didn't understand how they could be that close together and still not very painful if it was true labor. I decided that I had stressed myself out and that was causing the contractions so I just stopped timing and went to bed. When I got up yesterday morning...they were still there and still three minutes apart. I knew I needed to at least call and of course they wanted me to come in right away. They first did a trans vag u/s to check on the cervix, and they were happy with the length (think it was approx 2.8 cm (peaked at screen :)...down from 3.75 cm at 21 weeks), and I'm assuming that they didn't see any funneling or they would have mentioned it. At this point I'm thinking that once again I can't just deal with normal pregnancy sypmptoms and that I'm that super annoying patient. We did the usual urine and blood pressure and then they put me on the monitors. Well of course I felt nothing...it was like those bands had super powers :)...I had a couple but NOTHING like what I had the night before or that morning or even on the way to the doctor's. Several contractions or activity still showed up on the monitor so it was enough for my OB to decide to check my cervix. I saw his face, and I knew it wasn't good. I was just waiting for him to say that I'm like 3 cm dilated or something. It turns out I was only a fingertip dilated, but I shouldn't have ANY dilation at just 28 weeks with my "first" pregnancy (I always hate saying that but they are just speaking in terms that this is my first pregnancy to progress past first tri). So I was sent over to L&D for monitoring, and I again didn't have nearly as many contractions as I did at home. But I did have enough that they gave me one shot of terbutaline. I started seeing some really weird spots in my vision but fortunately it didn't last long and I also had a racing heartbeat (which is normal side effect from the shot). We thought one was going to knock it out...but activity started again so they gave me a procardia pill. At this point I need to mention how amazing my friends are...seriously they are the best. Shaun couldn't get out of work because he had an important all day conference call (of course he could have left if it got really bad!..he was just a phone call away). Claire and Bridget both knew that I would not ask for them to come up there so they just came, and it was so great having them there. They kept me VERY entertained. I loved how they asked a million questions so for once I didn't have to be "that" patient, and they were watching the monitor closely to look for contractions. Andrea and Jessica were texting me to check on me, and they were also just a phone call away. It makes a huge difference to face something like this with friends by your side. It really looked like the contractions were gone until right before my OB came to check on me...I had several more. They gave me another shot of terbutaline and later another procardia. This seemed to do the trick, and we were discharged around 8 PM with a prescription for procardia every 6 hours and strict bedrest until further notice. OB said we can re-evaluate the bedrest in 3 weeks if I don't have any episodes and no more changes to my cervix. As I'm typing this in bed right now, I'm still having some contractions so I'm not feeling very confident that this will just be a 3 week bedrest. Shaun is meeting my Dad to pick up my Mom tomorrow night so I will be very grateful to have her here. I know it might not be realistic, but I'm keeping my eyes set on 12 more weeks...that would put me at my due date of August 12th! I will lay here for 12 weeks if that is what it takes. We are very encouraged that Henry is looking great on the ultrasound and is still measuring a little over a week ahead. He also did really well on the monitors yesterday, which makes me happy. They did give me a steroid shot for his lungs to develop at the hospital yesterday, and I will get another dose at my ob's office today around 3. I know I'm leaving out info so please feel free to ask questions! I will update (maybe even via mobile--wow fancy) if I have to go into the hospital again or if anything changes this afternoon.

But after such a scary post...let me leave you with some 4D pics of sweet Henry. I know I'm partial, but he is a cutie! We had the 4D the Friday before Mother's Day, and we caught him yawning several times and playing with his toes. He is such a blessing, and he is just precious.







Caught in a yawn!